Have you ever been invited to an event where you don’t know a lot of people, and your first thought is that you need to find the perfect outfit? How about how long it takes women to choose what to wear on a first date? Well I think I know the one secret accessory to make a killer impression on everyone you meet, in any situation:
Personalities are unfortunately not sold in stores at this time, but you can pick one up by attempting to focus less on the way you look, and more on the way you are.
I think this is a serious issue with women in their 20’s and I know for a fact it single-handedly fueled my own shopping addiction for years.
Of course it is no secret that a lot of women like to shop. There is something fun about going to the store with our friends, trying on dresses and buying a pair of killer heels to strut our stuff in that night. There is a certain confidence that comes from a new outfit.
But what if you start to rely on these pieces of clothing to impress others? What if you spend so much time wondering what people think about the way you look, that you forget to speak, to laugh, to charm?
A lot of women hide behind fantastic clothes or beautifully blown out hair because they think it might do some of the work for them in a social setting. Many women with social anxiety, such as myself, find that they try to compensate for their lack of social skills by wearing the hottest new clothes and spending 3 hours blow-drying and curling their hair.
What winds up happening is that you never learn to exercise those very “social muscles” that you lack. You don’t learn to be present in the moment, laugh at funny jokes, or contribute at the right moment because you are so in your head about your appearance.
Now I am not trying to say that all attractive women are boring with no personalities. But I do think sometimes women depend too much on their looks to prosper in social settings. As you get older, you start to learn that men love an engaging conversation more than just a short skirt (of course men would probably prefer both).
I challenge women who struggle with this dependence on the perfect outfit or the perfect hair to start going out wearing just a white t-shirt. Or with your hair in a ponytail. And just BE YOU. Practice being you as early as possible because there is nothing more comforting and freeing than just being OKAY with yourself, as is. And seeing that other people are okay with it too.